A Modern Rendition of the Song of Songs?

 A friend (who received it from one of his friends) forwarded this modern day Song of Solomon poem to me this am. So, I cannot assign authorship for credit or blame.  That is probably a good thing!

 Behold, you are beautiful my love,
        behold, you are beautiful,

Your eyes are doves
        behind your veil

Your hair is like wholegrain pasta
         you make for the kids

Your teeth are like white alphabet tiles
         on the side with no letters
All of which have no food on them
        nor other foreign markings

Your lips are like ketchup
        with no high-fructose corn syrup
        and your mouth is lovely

Your cheeks are like cherries in 
        extra-cherry fruit cocktail
        behind your veil

Your neck is like Scurlock tower
        minus the parking lot
On it hangs Christmas decorations 
        just after Halloween

Your breasts are like two hamburgers
        from the children’s menu
        on kids eat free night

You are all together beautiful, my love,
        There is no flaw in you.

Studying the OT can be fun?

Although it is a slick advertisement for the new ZIBBCOT, this YouTube video shows the lighter side of those who study the OT.  Check out “John Walton Lives the OT.”

Genesis Illustrated

For those who wished that God would have given his word in pictures, your wish may have come true (although this “word” is not from God).  Noted comic illustrator, Robert Crumb, has recently published an illustrated text of Genesis.  His 224 pages of comic illustrations cover all fifty chapters.  (See this NY Times article for sample pics).  His translation follows that of Robert Alter but in certain instances he retains the KJV because of familiarity. Unfortunately, the publisher does not make academic review copies available so I have to wait to buy my own.

I do wonder though if this will be the next “controversy” to hit evangelical churches.  The reason for such a reaction to a comic:  there are no strategically placed fig leaves or animals for Adam and Eve in Genesis 1-3!

Missing Link is Still Missing

Amid much hype last May, a fossil named “Ida” was touted as the “missing link” between primates and humans.  As any  creationist could guess, the supposed missing link is still missing. Read here.

Hebrew Vocabulary & PP Visuals

In an effort to help my class gain control of the vocabulary for 1st semester Hebrew I have created a power point presentation that links the Hebrew word with a picture.  Here is an example of the vocabulary from chapter four of the textbook I am using: Basics of Biblical Hebrew by Pratico and Van Pelt.  I am curious to know if other Hebrew instructors have found this helpful. Hebrew Vocabulary chapter4

Is Longman a Descendant of the Historical Adam?

One of my students gave me a YouTube link that is disappointing at best.  In this very brief video Old Testament scholar, Dr. Tremper Longman believes that the historical Adam is an open question.  He suggests that the only way to have an historical person named Adam is to read Genesis 1-2 in a “very literalistic way.” Further, he doesn’t believe that Gen 1-2 prohibits an evolutionary process for human creation.  If Longman is correct, one wonders who is the man who has relations with Eve in Gen 4:1? Or what does Longman do with the Adam mentioned in the Chronicler’s genealogy (1 Chron 1:1) or Luke’s (Luke 3:38)? (These writers seem to treat that Adam as a historical figure w/ descendants).  And did not Paul treat Adam as a real person and not simply a myth? (Rom 5:14; 1 Cor 15; 1 Timothy 2).  I have appreciated and benefited from Longman handling of the OT,  I hope that the video is an incomplete sound bite.

Creating a Torah Scroll

One of our PhD students gave me a link to an interesting website concerning the making of a modern Torah scroll.  There is a video and news article from The Dallas Morning News which explains the making of the scroll.  According to the article it will take Rabbi Bloomenstiel 18 months to complete the entire Torah.  Those who are interested may sponsor a day of the sofer’s writing for $180.00!  Reporter Scott Farwell writes that a scroll would cost a congregation between $25,000 and $75,000!

Practicing Hebrew with Jonah

A colleague shared a particularly good website for beginning Hebrew students.  At Animated Hebrew the book of Jonah is printed (and read) in a comic book format.

This is a summary from the site:  “Every word of the Hebrew text is included in this Jonah comic in multiple scripts (square, cursive, paleo-Hebrew) and multiple forms (consonantal, pointed, cantillated). You can also listen to my slow, deliberate read of the Hebrew text, and pause or repeat at any time. At the bottom of the screen you’ll find ancient and modern translations that you can compare with the Hebrew text (Aramaic, Syriac, Greek, Latin, German, French, and 3 English translations). This comic is a great way to learn or practice your biblical Hebrew.”

This is a helpful site where I will be sending my students.  Thanks to those at Animated Hebrew!

Hebrew Vocabulary

For those interested in mastering their Hebrew vocabulary The University of Auckland (New Zealand) has a Biblical Hebrew vocabulary website that provides a multimedia environment to help students with their vocabulary. Students are able to see the Hebrew, hear the Hebrew (most of them), watch the Hebrew being written in order with vowels and see the Hebrew word in a simple sentence.

This is a helpful site.

God & the Old Testament

Here is an article by David Plotz for Slate who encourages Bible reading.  Realizing that he knew very little about the “good book,” Plotz set out to read every word of the entire Bible.  Now that he has actually read the book, he recognizes the Bible’s contribution to literature and his Jewish tradition. While he may have read every word, his conclusions about God demonstrate that he does not understand its message.  Plotz states,

I can only conclude that the God of the Hebrew Bible, if He existed, was awful, cruel, and capricious. He gives us moments of beauty—such sublime beauty and grace!—but taken as a whole, He is no God I want to obey and no God I can love.

Further in the article he asks,

If God made me, He made me rational and quizzical. He has given me the tools to think about Him. So I must submit Him to rational and moral inquiry. And He fails that examination. Why would anyone want to be ruled by a God who’s so unmerciful, unjust, unforgiving, and unloving?

While Plotz believes he came “to know the true nature of God’s conflict with Job,” he misses Job’s submission to the God who is in control of Job’s world (Job 42).  I am curious to know what Plotz thought of Isaiah 29:16:

You turn things around! Shall the potter be considered as equal with the clay, that what is made should say to its maker, “He did not make me”; Or what is formed say to him who formed it, “He has no understanding”?

 

I applaud the call for greater Bible literacy.  I just pray that others will read the Bible with an understanding of its message as well as its words.  (This article is helpful to understand the struggles many (even Christians) have with the God who inhabits the pages of the OT).